So, by this point in your life you've learned that adulting is hard

...especially for (us?) millennials who are new-ish to the gig.

Personally, I am very dependent on my parents. Unfortunately this includes--my previous love--grocery shopping. I still love food, but generally am way too symptom-y to care what it is.

That’s tough right? I want to keep some semblance of my independence, and I take it when I can get it! So I decided to do a photo documentary into what it takes to grocery shop while disabled and chronically ill.

Spoiler alert: it’s exhausting.

Prep:

First I had to find a day/time that’s not busy. So M-F from 9-11am or 1-3pm sounds about right.

Next, I have to make a grocery list, but I can’t handwrite and typing at my computer is too much work to add to the fact that I need to see what I need in the fridge and pantry, and then figure out what I actually want, then make it accessible (ie: no bake or prep).

--Phew! Are you exhausted already?

Because I was. It took me over a month to make a list, and those were items I found on the internet and took screenshots of, so I knew what I would be looking for.

To be honest though, what mom would have to look for...here’s part of the list I texted.

Grocery store items pictured in a text to mom.

DOOD. That was a lot of work; I cropped each one. Not to mention how long it took! (I was negative spoons at this point.)

Now that I had a grocery list ready, I had to feel well enough to go.

That wouldn’t happen for 3 months, and I’m not being dramatic. I have energy for one thing per day. So if it’s a week filled with appointments each day, then you know, I can’t do anything else.

The day:

It started out with a BIG cry about something or other, usually some sort of frustration with my disability. I let-r-rip, ugly cry style, but miraculously feel ok by one and we (mom and I) take the opportunity to go to my fave store, Trader Joe’s.

After a sunny car ride, I need time to get my bearings. So mom runs into the wine shop while I take a selfie--because lol, right?

The rest of these are captioned because you've been to a grocery store before. You get it.

Selfie of me wearing sunglasses with the text: this is my nightmare #photosensitivity

Side-note: Have you ever noticed that as soon as you walk through the double doors, that people go into race-horse mode? Just an observation.

This is the only aisle that I made it up and down. See, my mom and I had to plan for this ahead of time because when in public or social situations, I tend to "over do it" and it takes me out for days. We were trying anything to work around that. (As if it's possible, but we try.)

shot of the interior of Trader Joe's grocery store.

This is me sitting down (exhausted from my frozen foods shopping) in my rollator near the cashiers, taking a break. Note the earplugs and sunglasses--my saviors. Again, not exaggerating or being dramatic, I couldn’t have lasted at all without them.

Selfie of Erin wearing sunglasses and earplugs.

My supermom: doing the rest of my shopping with my adaptive list. I’m so glad she’s one of my amazing caregivers, she is goofy and dgaf about what anyone thinks, it’s the best case scenario.

Erin's mom with a full shopping cart making a goofy face.

ACTION SHOT. Gotta love friendly cashiers. (I even got permission and everything! No snoops over here.)

A man and woman cashier at Trader Joe's emptying cart.

Me immediately after we got home. Curtains drawn, blankets, pink ice pack, meds, sunglasses, and couch at the ready.

Time to cocoon for hours because THAT. WAS. EXHAUSTING.

...but also a great brain activity.

...and also great physical activity (walking, reaching, balancing).

...plus also a great social activity (smiled at new people, and talked to the cashiers).

Fatigue-y McWin, if I could name it.

You guys, adulting is hard.

Even more-so while chronically ill & disabled. But regaining independence is important to me, so I guess I have no choice eh? Of course healing is number one, so it’s yet another thing to find a balance with.